Warren Buffett

"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me."

Mark Russell

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."

W. H. Auden

"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know."

A. J. Liebling

"Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one."

Napoleon Bonaparte

"In politics stupidity is not a handicap."

Henny Youngman

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places."

Jack Benny

"If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."